Emmett is the child that I never expected, and in December 2023 he changed my life forever. In a season that is usually full of cozy warmth and joy, my days were suddenly filled with uncertainty. I felt fear as well.
A Little Rewind
Wait – how does a single mom all the sudden add a new addition to her family? Oh, and when did she become a single mom? Guess I better peel back some layers here for those of you who followed me for years.
From the outside, my marriage looked pretty awesome. Thing is, it had been crumbling since 2019. That was when I found out my (ex-)husband had been having an affair with a co-worker. We tried forgiveness and counseling, diving deeper into our faith. None of it was getting any better. COVID didn’t help anything. By spring of 2021, we decided to try some time apart. We wanted to see if it made things less stressful. Turns out he just turned to another co-worker. By that fall, we were separated. I had filed for divorce. He moved out but was still an awesome co-parent, or so I thought.
There was more. A lot more. And this is about Emmett, so I’ll skip the yucky trauma dump for another day. In the midst of our divorce, I got some news that just crushed my soul. Now he’s incarcerated in prison. My kids and I were left as “prisoners” in our home, dealing with a criminal case. The divorce became final after almost 15 months in January 2023. I sat in my sorrow and waited to start dating until he was taken away to state prison in April.
Enter Steven.
We met on Facebook Dating and he seemed like the guy that I needed to turn things around. I was in a messy place. My ex was in prison. Mom was in a nursing home. Dad was in and out of the ICU and nursing home. In typical Becky fashion, I fell hard and fast. He was with me and the kids all the time. Naturally, I moved forward like this was the new chapter I needed. This was a new chapter in this messy story.
By the end of May, I was barfing at every smell. I knew right away that somehow my body, ridden with PCOS/Endometriosis, was having another kid. It should never have been capable of having another kid.
The Pregnancy
Not too long after I found out I was pregnant, I was pretty sure I was having a miscarriage. However, it was just my super thick lining making some space for baby. It was scary and had me questioning my decisions to move forward. At the same time, it was clear that this baby was a gift from God. My family might just need this baby. Steven got full custody of his teenage daughter and I was feeling like all the things were falling in line.
Like usual, this fourth pregnancy was full of morning sickness, weight gain, migraines, and dehydration. I was miserable! By October, I faced a diagnosis of pre-eclampsia. I was definitely going through a lot of stress. My dad was in a coma, and Steven had basically disappeared. I was taking 12mg of baby aspirin plus a heart medicine daily. There were so many non-stress tests, growth ultrasounds, and doctor visits. I got three iron infusions at the Cancer Center. My due date was in January. I had no idea how my 40-year-old body could carry the baby to full term.
My kids helped pick out the name and celebrated with a gender reveal with their friends. Evan was SO HAPPY to have a baby brother. Things were really looking up!
Week 34
It felt so good to hit that 34-week mark! The doctor had determined I’d need to forget having Emmett on January 18, 2024 (my due date). We’d moved delivery to January 11, then December 29. I was going to get Christmas at home with the kids. Everything felt good.
Until it didn’t. I started getting really bad headaches and my blood pressure numbers were not healthy. Somehow, I made it to my appointments. Then at my 34-week appointment on December 13, I got bad news. I needed to go on bed rest immediately. Like don’t even return to work for the rest of the afternoon, just go back to bed.
That time in bed lasted about five hours and my blood pressure was soaring. I spent a night in triage at AHN Wexford. They were got my blood pressure back down and confirmed baby was okay.
By Sunday, Evan’s 13th birthday, I felt contractions and was dizzy. My doctor had been away for the weekend. Thankfully he was back in town so I let him know bed rest wasn’t going so well. He told me to start to prepare my mind for baby and his staff would see me at my appointment in the morning.
35 Weeks + 4 Days: December 18, 2023
I couldn’t get a ride to my appointment, so I drove myself to AHN Wexford (about an hour from my house). My bags had been in the car for a few weeks. Something told me to take a clip of walking into the hospital. The ultrasound looked good, the blood pressure check was next.
With solid readings of 143/93, the nurse asked me to sit tight. She called the high-risk OB and my OB. Soon she came back and asked if I was ready to have the baby. We walked from the Women’s Center to Labor and Delivery (and I got a pretty cool “tour” of the backstage area of the hospital).
Over the next two hours, Steven arrived and kept saying I was going to be okay and go home later that day. He was not getting it – baby was coming! They started me on a magnesium drip (which meant I’d be in bed for 24 hours). Dr. Cypher arrived and confirmed things with the team. I called my dad to let him know and then had a really tearful phone call with my best friend. During these calls, I saw a bunch of people having me sign papers. THIS WAS REALLY IT!
By 5:00 PM, Steven was dressed in protective gear and I was being wheeled to the OB. We passed the NICU and the tears started falling. I just knew I was going to have a NICU baby.
The Birth
I was placed on the surgical table. It was time for the spinal and Steven wasn’t allowed in until that was in place. I started losing all strength and hugged the Physician’s Assistant while the spinal was placed. I’ve had three bad experiences with this process. This time was no different – they had to go in twice to get the right placement.
The nausea was overwhelming. Before they brought Steven to my side I was pumped up with anti-nausea medicines. Of course I had a round of throwing up, because that’s what I do. He took my hand, the cutting began and it was go time!
At 5:57 PM, Emmett was pulled from my body. There was no crying, and I remember looking at Steven and trying to stay strong. After nearly a minute, the sweetest angry cry I’ve ever heard filled the room. You could hear the relief flood the OR.
Before they let him have a look at the baby, I asked what I felt on my chest. Part of this procedure was to remove my tubes, but I wasn’t imagining I’d feel them. They let us see them (I couldn’t lift my head to look, but I’m told they were definitely removed).
He’s here!
While a team of nurses worked on Emmett, they took Steven over to see the baby. I didn’t get to see him and had to rely on pictures. What I didn’t realize was I’d have to rely on pictures and a video to get me through the entire night. He was whisked off to the NICU before I knew what was happening.
We were taken to my recovery room. Steven got my bags from the truck and headed out for the night without getting to see Emmett. I attempted to pump and rest, but really just wanted to see my baby. They gave me a website where I could look at the baby in his bed. I stared at that image all night until I was finally able to see him the next morning.
I was now a mama of five!
More on Emmett’s NICU stay will be posted soon!